In 2015 I had very few worries and yet somehow had fewer plans for the future. It’s safe to say the last thing on my mind was what cryptocurrency values might look like six years down the road. Ironically, on this day in 2015, I purchased 0.63 Bitcoin. As of June 11th (the time of writing this), 0.63 Bitcoin was valued at $23,075. On April 25th of this year, the same amount of coin was worth $39,839.


Hi. I’m 25 years old. I’ve yet to maintain a job for more than a year since college, and here’s my story.

Neatly packaged as default hardware in our enlightened 18-year-old brains, the false promise of what employment after higher education will bring is nearly guaranteed to disappoint. Up until about the 3rd week of working full-time, I had a pretty clear picture of what I thought a good career path would look like for myself.

Next thing I knew, one morning I awoke to realize I was working doubles on the weekends making cash tips to cover rent and…


Man, that one hurt. Do not underestimate the canyon. The traditional rim-to-rim-to-rim (R2R2R) trail consists of 44 miles and 11,000 ft of vertical gain/loss (equates to a little over 900 flights of stairs) South Kaibab → North Rim → South Kaibab.

Leaving South Rim around 5am, the sheer force of the initial descent into the canyon tore down my legs far faster than I was hoping or anticipating. Shuffling through Phantom Ranch (7mile mark) a shade before 6:30am as the sun began to creep over the canyon walls, I was thankful for what little pieces of shade I knew were…


If you find yourself hating running and quitting early, just keep at it. Running takes time to be enjoyable. It’s not a surgical strike; it’s a war of attrition.” — Matthew Inman

I used to hate running. To be honest, sometimes I still do. For the first 18 odd-years of my life, running translated loosely, meant punishment. For the last few years, I’ve found myself to be helplessly obsessed with running. Why? I’m still not quite sure. However, what I can tell you is that over this time frame, I’ve picked up on a few things.

Whether you’ve never…


White, rye, flat, banana, corn, cakes, croissants, donuts, ciabatta, garlic, muffins, multi-grain, and while we’re at it what about, bagels, biscuits, breadsticks, baguettes, and brioche. It’s all bread, well…sorta-kinda. And if you didn’t know, we eat a lot of it (somewhere around 53lbs per year).

Let’s play a nonsensical game that is likely to provide you with a wealth of futile facts never to be used in any social, intimate, or real-life situation. The game is called “Which is older?”

Which is older: The agricultural revolution or bread?

Which is older: The end of the last ice age or bread?


*Personal and company names redacted*

Dear Applicant, We regret to inform you that we have decided to move forward with other candidates.

Best of luck,

-AUTOMATED SYSTEM

Generic, impersonal, cut and dry. An email informing you that you are no longer in the running for a job but also forgoing any positive or negative feedback on the hiring team’s analysis of how your interview(s) went.


The competence required to read a room has never been a markedly polished skill for me. Rather than focusing on the environment between four walls, my brain typically falls into default mode somewhere between unnecessarily dissecting dozens of past events and catastrophizing incoherent future scenarios, creating a fun little never ending ‘doom-loop’. But then again, even a broken clock is right twice a day ( 2020 synonym: even a sneaker-head might trip over face mask they’ll sport in public once in a while).

How to Survive a Deadly Global Virus

Four arduous and uninspiring months ago, I strolled through the office door heading to my desk as…


If you made it here without reading Primitive Politics, Pt. I — I strongly encourage you to do so.

Our Path to Talking Parrots

When mass broadcast radio came around in the 1920’s, the goal of any media platform ever since has been fairly straightforward. Relay information while grabbing the largest market share possible, using the entire nation as a target audience. The unbiased and unfiltered stream of news and events in previous decades wasn’t such simply because there were kinder humans with our well-being in mind back then. The relative purity of news experienced then as compared to now, was due to their lack…


*An opinion piece from someone with no formal political education* I support and fully welcome disagreement.

Our Current Reality:

“Well if you are wanting to move away and you enjoy California so much you should look into living there at some point!”

“Oh there’s no way I could do that, there are too many liberals that live there.”

To say I was puzzled when I received that response, after having put forward the idea of moving to a new state, would be an understatement ( to make things worse this happened on a date). What followed was more than an awkward stretch of…


“oh man, I can’t wait to work from home — this is going to be GREAT.”

7:00am: *wake up*

7:05am: *check phone/calendar — see nothing*

7:30–9:30am: *drink a full pot of coffee*

10:30am: *talk about what I’m going to do today with caffeine induced confidence*

12:00–7:00pm: *eat, eat, then eat some more*

7:30pm: *realize how little I accomplished*

8:00pm: *talk about how much I’m going to get done tomorrow*

10:30pm: *go to bed*

*repeat*

Rumor has it they are re-releasing the movie “Groundhog Day” as a 2020 Netflix documentary

2020: The Year of Chaos

Lately it has seemed as though my days have followed a…

dariankrey

Applied Generalist

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